DIETTE

Pipette - a small pipe.
Cigarette - a small cigar.
Majorette - not as major as a full major.
Ette, attached to a word describes the same thing the original word described, only smaller.

After they created the word DIETTE, they decided to chop off some letters to make it look smaller and therefore more attractive to people who happen to be searching for ways to become smaller themselves. Thus the word DIET finally came into being.

What should be obvious right now, considering the explanation above, is that DIET is simply a smaller version of death. I think its common knowledge that no one is allowed to eat after they die. That explains why coffins are so small. If I could still eat after dying then I would already be making payments on my super semi three trailer refrigerated food wagon which would certainly be going with me to the after zone when my number finally happens to come up.

People who put themselves on a diet are akin to those people who attempt to commit suicide, only the dieters do it in smaller doses instead of all at once.

To enjoy life is to live it. To live life you must get out there and experience things. Climb the mountains, float the rivers, eat the food! Grab hold and feel things, smell them, taste them and don't ever let go!

To avoid doing those things is to avoid life. To avoid life is to not live. To not live is to be dead. So doesn't it stand to reason that to diet is to be sorta dead?

Dieting doesn't really take pounds off of bodies, it just stores them in gaseous form which hovers, like an aura, around the body until fleeting thoughts of fattening objects erupt in the back of the mind. At that time, floating fat from the ever-present aura is sucked back into the body and redistributed into the common collection areas. The more fat you store (through dieting) into your aura, the greater your chances of it being reintroduced into your body just by thinking of fattening foods.

Why diet? God has made lots of different sizes of people and He has made lots of people with preference for people who are differently sized individuals. If you're dieting in an attempt to be attractive to others, forget it. There are more people in America who are non skinny than people who are skinny. So when you diet, you're narrowing the field of people you can possibly be attractive to.

Thanksgiving is looming near. Enjoy yourself. Tell em I said it's ok.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and don't come back till it's over.