Small Talk

It's like small print.
At the bottom of that contract, or that agreement, or that license, there sits the tiny lettered mass of small print. The older you get the more it seems to blend together and say nothing. But then of course, we all know, the smaller it is the more dangerous it can be.

So now we have small print on the radio. What the heck are they saying at the end of those commercials when they talk in such a rapid monotone that you can't keep up? What do they think we think about that? It's worse than small print, which you can see if you hold the paper up to your face or farther than your reach or view it with a magnifying thingy. Small talk is what it is and small talk has no magnifying thingy. You can't even pause your radio, rewind it and play it back in slow motion. There seems to be no way to know what they are saying.

I get the fear that they'll one day show up to my house and cart all my belongings away telling me that I agreed to this when they made a contract with me on the radio. I agreed with the small talk statement that they could have whatever they wanted from anyone stupid enough to buy a product that was advertised with small talk.

Let's face it. If there is small print or small talk then there is definitely something to hide. I've made a promise to myself that I'm not going to buy anything that is advertised with small print or small talk. But of course now I can't remember what the product was.

And by the way, who are those people? How can people talk that fast? Are they moonlighting auctioneers, out of work carneys, L.A. street hustlers? Most people can't discern what is being said let alone make their mouths say it. It's an unusual talker with enough talent to run the mouth like that saying all those words while ensuring that you don't understand. It's kind of like admitting something to your wife while looking away from her as she's talking on the phone. "HoneyIdidaterriblethinglastnightandI'mreallysorryforspendingalloursavingsonthatnewsetofclubs". Then if you get in a bind later you can say "Hey, I told you that".

Do they think that the message will get to your mind subliminally or something? Do they think it's like sleeping with a book? Audio osmosis. Just soak up the knowledge through your ears.

I'm an adjunct teacher and maybe I could use something like that. Maybe I could get all my lessons to be recorded by one of those adjunct auctioneers and they could end up being compressed by maybe 100th of what they normally are. Then I could sell them to my students saying, in the small print of course, that you can get an entire college education in only one month just by using my new scientific method of compressed college lectures. Just listen to the words as they zip by at mach speeds and calmly absorb them into your brain without so much as even one cram night. Just think of all the partys you could hit with that sort of tool.

I'll be rich.
My retirement will finally be secure.