Only a dollar

     How many times have you told someone that you don't like their hair?  Few I'm sure.  You have to be a very close friend if you want to be so honest.  Guys can do it easier than gals but when a guy is speaking to a gal he can't be honest.  Unless of course, it's his sister.  It's OK to insult your sister.  Shoot, it's family tradition.  But most of us just can't be honest.  It's dangerous to tell the truth.
    
     Some girl comes to work one morning and she's got this new butch-style, lesbian haircut.  You notice it.  What's your first response?  "I like your hair". 

     Liar.

     But you do it all the time.  You do it every time.  Never, have you ever said "Damn girl.  You look stupid".  Or something of the sort.  There have been times in my past where I've known darn good and well that my hair looks stupid but no one else wants to act like they know.  They tell me it looks good.  And I wanna say "Lie, Lie, Lie".  Hell I once cut my own hair myself with scissors while drinking beer and watching girls out front at the pool.  Think it looked good?  Of course not but when I went to work the next day I had two people brazenly dare to suggest to me that my  hair looked good. 

     In social interaction we do this with just about everything.   "You're not fat".  "Oh but birthmarks are sexy".  "Gray hair makes you look distinguished".  "Those boogers hide your nose hair".  Lies, lies, lies.

     Where did we get this need to hide real truth from people?  Why do we have to lie to them?  I guess because we know that they don't want the truth.  People don't want to see themselves as a fat, ugly klutz and so they open themselves up to possible insult by asking you "Do you think I'm a fat, ugly klutz?"  and they know that you're going to have to say "No".  Just because they know that you can't properly tell the truth to someone simply because it's true.

     I'm going downtown when I retire.  I'll set up a kiosk right there on the mall.  Like Charlie Brown's Lucy I'm going to sell insults for only a dollar.  But these won't really be insults.  I'll actually tell the truth.  "How can you possibly hang out with that dorky looking man?  You're a babe.  Dump that guy and go find someone who makes you look better". 
Or maybe, "Hey you, with the lunch in your beard.  Shave that damned thing off and try to figure out what you've been trying to hide".
Or, "Lady, we all know that's from Walmart.  Why do you want to look so cheap?".

     All that for only a dollar.