The Kona Curse

    I learned to drink coffee while serving in the Navy.  Coffee and water were the only drinkable things on the ship that were free.  Well, drinkable might be too generous a word.  Water didn't always seem drinkable.  I lived on a carrier.  I don't know how it happened but often the water tasted like it had jet fuel in it.  That wasn't my imagination because so many sailors griped about it that the Ship's Surgeon once included comments about it during his loud-speaker speech.  He said not to worry about it because it "Keeps you regular". 
Uh-huh.

    They needed water to make steam for the catapults so they didn't encourage us to waste a bunch of it.  They made the water in the bathroom sinks really hot - so you didn't use too much brushing teeth.  They made the water in the showers real cold - so you didn't enjoy your stay in there too much. Shoot, there were times when they actually stationed a Master At Arms (ship cop) at the showers to make sure you only took a "Navy shower".  Navy showers are where you get wet then turn the water off then suds up then turn the water on and rinse.  You are allowed only a certain few minutes to do this and the MAA would let you know if you went over.

    So I drank coffee.  It was free and enough coffee in the mix would disguise the taste of jet fuel.  It was important to never wash your cup while serving on the ship.  Only a fool, a pud, a pussy, a wimp would ever wash a coffee cup.  The longer it was used without washing the better the coffee tasted.  The coffee brewer was the same.  Never, ever did we wash either. 

    An old shipmate of mine remembered this Christmas, that I love coffee.  He lives in Hawaii where he writes books (Jay Yurth at Amazon.com) and raises kids and lives in love with a fine family.  He sent me a couple of Hawaii T-shirts, which are a cool gift for anyone.  I threatened to send him some Oklahoma T-shirts but it was only a joke.  I like Jay and wouldn't do something like that to him.  Me and Ms Donna oohed and aahed over the shirts and she stole the one for her.  Then I cleaned up and we went about our daily dailies.  But she came back later and showed me that Jay also sent us a bag of coffee that I almost threw away.  Hawaiian coffee.  Cool.  Kona coffee.  Never had it before.

    WHOA!.  Loved it.  Smooth and nice and very delicious.  Shoot.  Not Navy coffee at all.  Days later he even sent me more.  We had people over on Christmas Eve for food and wine.  As things were winding down Ms Donna said "Honey, let's make them some of that Hawaiian coffee".  I said, "Shit." 
"Huh?".
"Uh, I said 'It's good isn't it?".
"Yea, let's make some".
So anyway.  I made sure to keep back a bunch and finished it all by myself over the next few days. 

    Well now I'm pissed.  Maxwell House isn't good anymore.  Now I have to go out and find me one of those wonderful smelling coffee places.  Maybe I'm addicted, I don't know.  I only tried it once.  Just wanted to see what it was like and now it's consuming my whole life.  I'm writing this note because if it helps just one kid somewhere in the world to avoid getting hooked on Kona coffee then it was worth it.