Friggin pain!
What? This isn't supposed to hurt!
"We gave you a (thingy) and all you have to do is push that button to get some pain relief".
What is it?
"It's pain solution".
Yea, but what?
"Delautid 1.5".
"It's set for 15 minutes. Every 15 minutes just push that button and you'll get some pain relief".
I think we started behind. Ms Donna is a nurse. She's explained to me before that with pain, if you get behind you'll never catch up. I think they waited until I woke up before giving me pain meds and that's why I never could feel their effects. I was in horrible pain in my back, in my legs, in my butt and hips. The severe grips of pain of different types would just float around my body squeezing and twisting and stabbing me one after the other over and over. The damnit button didn't seem to work at all.
That first night I just lay there in my hospital bed watching the clock. AS SOON as fifteen minutes had passed I pushed the button. Nothing seemed to happen. I slept not one wink. I hurt so bad in a position that I had to make myself change positions and changing positions was a painful experience.
I'm very glad I exercise regularly and am pretty agile because it would have been even more miserable if I wasn't in shape.
The nurses were wonderful and the techs were wonderful but no one could alleviate that pain. I asked them for more drugs. How about stronger drugs. I said "Hey, this is a hospital, surely there's a room around here somewhere that has enough of the type of drugs that can take my pain away. With the money I pay for insurance, why can't I get some?"
Can't do it, they say. My doctor is particularly stingy about pain pills. Well, I learned something there. Before you do a spinal be sure to talk with your doc about pain meds. Is he afraid of them or is he humane?
Next morning my doctor came in and asked me how I was doing. I said "Is this a joke? You really want to know how I'm doing?"
I accused him of prescribing placebos for me.
I asked him if this pain was normal. He said yes it is. For a spinal fusion this is normal. He said that it will get better every day. But this is still today. This is still horrible.
I have always thought of myself as a good man. Not a he-man but macho enough to handle most bad things thrown at me. Now I've changed my mind. I learned that I'm a true pussy. Real pain gricks me out. It was so bad that I had to invent a new word, Grick.
On that day, while roiling in a muck-pit of squeezing pains, they made me stand up. Ohgod, standing up. What a challenge. We stood up and took hold of a walker and walked. As we did it, through my wincing, I noticed that standing up and walking must be a good thing to do. It hurt but I actually felt better. We didn't walk much. Just enough to move my body around and it helped.
Next day we walked some more. Every day there in the hospital we walked. I looked forward to it. It does make me feel better. I walked a mile every morning for years before the surgery so it was sort of like getting back to normal.
Next day it was better. Just slightly.
Next day it was better. Quite a bit better. They increased my dosage after Ms Donna talked with them and I became a bother and beggar.
On the 5th day they let me go home.
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