Our dogs don't always hang out together. Sometimes a small group goes to the south pasture for a while or maybe a couple go for a ride, or such. When a dog or two returns from being away all the others rush to sniff and touch noses and bump together. One very common thing that all dogs do is sniff butt.
Sniffing butt for dogs is not just a - 'oooh, let's see how your butt smells'. No, it's richly complicated. Butt sniffing is a way for the sniffer find out if the sniffee is happy or stressed or agitated. Butt sniffing is the way for dogs to not only find out the general mood of the sniffee, but it's also a general way to find out where the sniffee's been and pretty much what they've been doing.
Stop and think about dog noses. They're at least 3 times the size of most human noses and they're chock full of lots of strong nose tools that are used to enhance odor collection body parts by huge degrees over the average weak and less smelly human nose. So when a dog uses its nose, it's using a supremely sophisticated tool. Dogs are superheroes, if you will, with extreme nose power. So when they stick their nose up into another's butt they can determine the mood of the butt, what type of terrain that butt has traversed lately, what type of food's been pooped and who knows how many other tidbits of buttly info that's available.
Dogs have such an advantage over humans in the arena of social engagement. You'd think that they can't really communicate since they can't talk or text or tweet. But you'd be very wrong. They're communication skills are far in advance of humans because they can simply trot up to a friendly dog and take a quick sniff and answer all and any questions that we would have spent long minutes attempting to communicate over.
Wouldn't it be great if we could communicate like that? Just imagine, show up for a meeting at work and have no wonder if the boss is happy or angry. You can find out with just one quick sniff. Well shoot, you wouldn't even have to sniff the boss, you could take a quick whiff of the secretary's butt and know what to expect. You could convey the mood that you have right now, to all the other people in the meeting if you just stand there sipping coffee while they take turns bending over and sticking their noses into your exit hoses.
How wonderful! The teens of today could finally walk down the street and see the street. They could take their eyes out of the cell phone and put them where they belong; on each other's butts. That's the way we used to do it. Well no, we didn't actually stop and sniff butts but back in high school I myself was very interested in most of the young lady's butts.
How simple it would be for the singles crowd when you think about it. See a pretty gal walking down the street and all you have to do is trot over and smell her butt. You'd know in an instant if she was interested or not. Go to the local bar and do the same. Why shoot, they'd probably build bars expressly for that purpose. Maybe you could enter the nightclub and walk down an aisle that conveniently takes you UNDER the seated personnel. That way you could just turn your head up and follow your nose. You could find out who is lonely, who is ready to party and who to leave alone.
Take a lesson from my dogs. Learn to use that nose. Why, we could change the world. Who knows what those noses could know.
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