TOO MUCH MEMORY

Just got through talking with my mom. Well no. I just got through talking for my mom.
She's 88 years old and even though she's spry and agile and healthy, sometimes she has trouble remembering. Sometimes she has trouble remembering what she is saying. From the beginning of a sentence to the end, she can somehow get lost. She gets all frustrated so sometimes I just finish her sentences for her. When I do that she's so happy to quit struggling she stops trying to remember what she was really trying to say and eagerly accepts what I think she was trying to say.
It dawned on me that the problem that most of us get (if we're lucky enough to get old enough) when we get old is that we have stuffed so much in that little brain of ours, we just can't find anything anymore. We're born with a little brain and it grows as we grow. As we grow we experience lots and lots of new things which we dutifully store away in our little growing brains. Well there comes a day when we quit growing. The brain quits growing too. We do that because God realized that we'd all look silly running around with huge heads that we got from storing more memories. We'd all be running into trees and stuff. Well, democrats wouldn't. They'd have little bitty heads but that's subject for a different email.
So we have this limited brain. From about maybe year 25 or so, we still experience stuff and we still store it into our finite-sized brain but that brain no longer grows to accommodate. So now we've got this stuffed-closet syndrome working against us. This is ok for another 50 years or so but sooner or later we've got to deal with the problem of finding those memories. We've got to wade through so much crap and so much good and bad and so much experience that sometimes it's hard to dig through there and find what we're looking for.
Mom's problem is that she stores a thought in her brain buffer and tries to hang onto it while she sorts through her jam-packed brain for connections to express the thought. Well she has to shuffle brain-space registers around so much that sometimes she just writes over the temporary buffer that's holding the thought she's trying to express.
So now I know that I can help her. I pointed out to her that I have a solution. And it dawned on me that there's where my first billion is going to come from. There's lots of people getting old right now. And many of them are going to hit the stuffed-closet point of their lives and they're going to be pretty frustrated. So I'm going to get me a late-night television commercial and I'm going to invite them all to attend my FORGETIT classes. I'll take the old codgers (people in their fifties and up of course) and teach them how to forget stuff. Teach them how to delete those memories they've got that fill up their brains and keep them from having easy and fluent conversations.
Of course you think, well hell I could do that myself. Whey would I go to his class to learn something like that. But you're wrong. You do need my class. If you sit down yourself and think "I'm going to forget this and forget that and that and that". Well you're not going to forget that stuff. You're going to not only reinforce the memory of what you're trying to forget but now you're also going to have to store the new memories of trying to forget the stuff that you wanted to forget which you didn't.
I know of a special plant that's grown in Mexico and California and Oklahoma and Texas. It's very cheap to cultivate and I can cook it up into brownies and tea and serve it to my customers at my classes. This plant works actively as a major forgetit catalyst. Attend my classes once a week for 6 months and your brain will lose a whole lot of closet junk. You'll be stuffing it with new memories and fantasies in no time.
I'm going to quit my job today. I'm going to get this plant and rent me an office and start advertising.
FORGETIT by bob.
Your life will be better. And you won't even know it.