Second Sensation Foods

Today's email will be more tame than some we had in the past. I promised Ms. Donna that I wouldn't write about things like nose hair while she's listening. So, in honor of my special little sugar plum, we'll talk about asparagus.

I really love to eat asparagus.

One reason I love it so much is because foods like asparagus aren't just a one-time enjoyment sort of thing. When you eat foods like that, of course you get immediate satisfaction of taste and texture, but you also get the second satisfaction that comes later.

Second satisfaction foods are in a very small class all by themselves in America's vast array of good, bad, indifferent, healthy, fancy, exciting and what-have-you foods. There aren't many of them and they aren't appreciated as much as they deserve.

All second satisfaction foods share the same initial trait, the one of good taste. But they also come back again later to remind you that you had them before. Cucumbers are by far my favorite come back later foods. After I eat cucumbers there's always an interim of about an hour and then I burp. When I burp a cucumber I get that wonderful taste all over again just as if I took another bite. The best thing about that is that I don't even have to bite if off and chew it up. What I'm doing is, enjoying a food without the hassle of actually eating it.

This means less stress since I don't have to open a jar or wash the food or cut it or any of that nonsense. This also means that there are no calories to worry about on the second time around. I'm convinced that second satisfaction foods are the perfect taste treat.

When I eat asparagus it rarely makes me burp. When I do burp from eating asparagus there is no taste sensation as with cucumbers. The thing about asparagus is when you wait a while and then pee. Ever notice that there's a rich and enticing aroma of asparagus when you pee after eating asparagus? Well try it, you'll be pleasantly surprised. Of course I'm not advocating tasting or drinking your pee just because it has asparagus juice in it. I'm just trying to point out one of life's little pleasures - the pleasant smell. I think that it's important for us to stop and smell the asparagus as we go through this life.

The delayed effect that eating hot peppers has on the body is not really a second satisfaction. I think the best label for that would be second sensation. That's why I call them second sensation foods. The day after I eat hot peppers is the day that I most definitely get an unwelcome yet interesting burning sensation when I do my bathroom business. The less said about that the better.

And we'll include beans in this less-said category - although, when I think about it, maybe beans should be included in second satisfaction (for the bean eater of course. Second situation for the bean eater's friends and loved ones).

We could include spinach in this survey except that, once again, we would need to change the phrase a little. Spinach isn't a second satisfaction food nor is it a second sensation food. Spinach would have to be classified as a second situation food. With spinach we often find out, after the party's over of course, that there's a big ugly dark green square of it stuck to a front tooth. Which makes it a second situation beyond any doubt.

So anyway, here's what can do. We'll start a business that markets only second satisfaction foods. We can sell them as the new diet craze. Eat our foods and don't gain any weight at all! Eat our foods and save oceans of time by not having to cook dinner! Eat our foods and burp, pee and grin your way through the day. Second Somethingwhatever Foods. The taste treat that comes again and again when you least expect it.