Rings

I've done it again dangit.
Years ago I helped my brother rebuild a privacy fence on my mom's house. After the work was over I realized that I had lost my wedding ring. It was a very cool one, gold of course, and it had a diagonal design on it. Like someone took a sword (I could say knife but it sounds so much cooler if I say sword) and slapped the ring with closely spaced slashes. Then it had a smooth ring in the middle that went around the ring. A gold ring around the gold ring. Ms Donna bought it for me. Spent hundreds of dollars.

She wasn't happy about the loss.

I sported naked fingers for more than a year after that until she found another ring for me. This one wasn't nearly as expensive (Walmart) but it too was very cool. It was silver. Well, it was silver colored, I'm not certain what it was made from. And it had engraved rings around it too. I actually had comments on how good it looked from some of my young college students. They thought it was platinum.

This weekend after painting the storage shed and cleaning up leaves from the driveway, I took a shower. After leaving the shower I reached for my ring where I always leave it to shower and it wasn't there. I've been all over looking for it. Finally had to tell Ms Donna.

Once again, she wasn't happy.

I don't think she's going to buy me another ring.
This might be my job from now on.

But then I thought, hey. I don't have to buy a ring. What the heck for anyway? I'll just lose it. So here's what I've decided. This weekend I think I'll go down to the seedy part of town and take a look at the tatoo parlors that we have around here. I think I'll ask somebody there what it will take to get a special tattoo for myself. A tattoo of a ring. On my ring finger. Maybe platinum colored with a ring around it.

I told that to our secreta...Oh. Uh. Our Executive Assistant and she pointed out that it sounded like a good idea unless I get divorced sometime in the future. Then I'd have this permanent ring on my ring finger. We discussed how much it would cost to get the finger removed in such a situation and realized that removing the finger would probably be pretty cheap. But plugging the hole might be steep. Costly in many ways.
I left that conversation assuring her that there's no way I'm going to get divorced anyway because I'm married to Ms Donna. There's no better arrangement than that and I don't expect to give it up.
The EA made me accept that it may not be my decision to divorce and that's just something that could happen some day so it's something I should think about.

Well ok then.
That settles it.

I'm going out this weekend and getting a cool platinum tattoo on my ring finger. I'll just make sure it's wide enough, with a cool band in the center that wraps around my finger and has nothing in it at all. That way if we ever do get divorced I can return to the tattooer and get the word VOID placed in there.