Siesta Party

Ok, that's it.
I'm gonna have to run for office.

Gonna have to try to bring a little sanity back into the high office of our land. Gotta straighten everyone out. Must do it. Need to do it now. No more silly nonsense.

I plan to run on the Siesta platform. One simple rule.
I've got no manifesto. No list of demands. No contract with anybody and no major changes save one. After I sweep into office there will be one change and one change only to this great land. After lunch, everybody gets a one hour siesta.

If you don't want a siesta then you are required to shut up for an hour. Just don't bother the patriots who will be cleverly organized to support our great nation with their dreams and snores.

I'll do nothing else.
I won't change a thing. Won't stop a thing. Won't start a thing. It may sound at first like there's something wrong with a president promising to not change anything until you realize that most of our presidents of the past have screwed things up more than they have fixed things. If I dive in there and start trying to bolster this and filibuster that and push for that and veto that, well shoot. Look at all the things I could screw up. I'm not a politician, heck I'm not even a shyster. I could really bum up the works. So I've gotta just keep the hands off.

Nothing will change, nothing will get done, nothing will get undone and nothing will get broke.

That should calm the nerves of the interested people of the world.
I'll even prove it.
I'll assign a presidential camera crew to follow me around as I travel the world doing nothing. To assure calm and serendipity in the free world, I'll make sure that camera crew gets a lot of photo ops of me doing absolutely nothing. There will be pics of me in Bardados on the beach. Of me in Tahiti on the veranda. Of me at the slopes in Alps land and sipping wine in Tyrolia. No one will ever be able to accuse me of work. And that way nothing's going to get broke.

I'm asking for your help.
By definition, I can't be a participant in this great presidential race. If I run then my critics can point to my running actions and accuse me of misleading the public to believe that I'm an idler when I'm actually some kind of worker. I can't have that. I can't let anyone get the idea that I'm doing anything productive.

Please support me.
Don't only support me but take the helm and lead the way to me. I need a leader. Can't be me because I can only set the example. I can't lead. Too much work. Somebody might notice. You need to go out and collect money for me and you need to set up websites for me and you need to make posters, signs and buttons. You need to get started and get to work at once.

Your days will be long and it will probably sap all your savings and will and dreams, but that's what it's going to take to make me the boss.

I'm looking forward to this campaign.
Lead me to the forefront. Get me a chair. Bring me a drink. And let's take this nation to the couch.

Our slogan:

IT'S THE LEAST WE CAN DO