Who Shat That Hat?

There was an emperor of lore who thought too much of himself. Probably because people fawned over him as if he was something and only because they thought themselves to be nothing. He was that guy who was made a suit of non-clothes. He paraded around in front of all the realm with no pants, no shirt, no shoes and no undies. All of the people - save one child - assumed that he was wearing fine clothes. They assumed that, because they assumed the emporer was more special than they.

That sort of thinking. That sort of realming. That kind of senseless stupidity still reigns.

Just take a look at the people across the Pond. WTF is it with those damnit hats????

Didja see the wedding? Well, of course not. I don't watch local weddings, not even the ones I attend. But I did see the hats. I did see the absolutely silly headed royalty and friends of royalty who are damnit fool enough to wear emperor hats in front of millions.

Ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, THOSE HATS ARE STUPID.

Princess Eugenie you are an ass. Somebody sold you an absolute joke. Those sales people are at home right now hugging up to their same sex lover giggling all over their white gloves and silk kimonos. You were inane enough to spend worker's dollars being internationally embarrassed like a munchkin drone. And your friend, Beatrice, princess or not, is just as assable as you my dear. You two are twits. How can you or anyone else in the world believe that those hats look good? How can anyone in the land believe that those hats are anything but utterly ridiculous?

Yes, I do understand that new fashion and new inventions and new things sometimes take a while to grow on us. They take some time to get used to before they become the norm. But these hats will never be the norm. These hats are just plain absolutely rubbish that could only fit well on something created by Dr Seuss.

The news I've read all seems to treat your silly head-pieces as if they're proper and highly fashionable. Well the news sources I've read must be pretty darn dumb. This will never do. All these hats do for me is reinforce that uncomfortable feeling I have when I get close to an English person. I've always thought they were strange. This only furthers my fub.

Wanna decent hat? Go to Texas. Fergit the Brits.