I want your blood.

Well, not your blood.
I'm guessing that most of the 6 people who read this blog are not very young.  So I don't want your blood.  I want young blood. 

I've just discovered a new reason for old men to chase young girls.  The recent national news has been talking about GDF11.  Yes, it's THAT GDF11.  The GDF11 that they found in the blood of young mice.  They took some of the GDF11 out of the blood of some 2 month old mice.  2 month old mice are about equivalent to 20 year old humans.  They took this GDF11 out of the 2 month old mice and they put it into old mice that are equivalent to 70 year old humans. The old mice rejuvenated. 

The old mice rejuvenated.

Have they found the fountain of youth?  And is it a fountain of blood?

They're suggesting that this could be a treatment for failing hearts, kidneys and livers of humans.  They're suggesting that this could be a treatment for Alzheimer's. 

Don't get too excited.  There are news articles like this all the time and then you never hear of them again.  Ms. Donna, who has a medical degree, always asks me "What medical journal did you read that in?"
So I don't tell her the news.  She ruins it. 

I like to read news like that and daydream about a new and changing world.  I dream where all the young people in the land move underground.  They build bunkers and walls to protect themselves from the legions of oldsters out looking for young blood.  The youngs would gather in clinics all around their young world and give blood for a price.  Then that blood would be sold for huge profits to the oldsters out in the dying land.  Oldsters all around would probably fight each other for the privilege of rejuvenating certain body parts left for dead decades ago. 

I've begun a new objective to collect all the young blood I can get my hands on right now.  I'll do it in two ways:  First of all I'll continue to do the task I've already started.  I talk now with any youngster who will listen and I explain the situation to them and I make them promise me that I can have some blood in the future once it's figured out how we should go about collecting it.  I at least make them acknowledge that I'm the first one to ever ask them for their blood.  Most agree.  Most try to get out of the room as soon as possible.  I don't care.  All I want is their agreement.  We can take care of the legal matters later. 

Second I'll start collecting young blood myself.  I'll put together a kit that I can use to gather blood when I run into it in the field.  I can hang out around playgrounds or football games or bramble patches.  When I see leaking blood I can swoop in and sop it up and put it into containers that I'll design myself.  I'll have to keep in shape so that I can move quicker and ward off any other oldsters with the same ideas.

I can sell those kits too.  That's how I plan to finance my retirement.  Just think of how many young-blood-collecting kits I can sell before the government makes a law against it. Watch this blog for future terms.