I got cardiac clearance. That was just a letter from my cardiologist saying I don't need any testing or special considerations because of my heart during the back surgery. I have an aortic and mitral valve insufficiency. Kept me out of the draft. Guys my age would have given their best girlfriend to have that condition. I didn't tell too many people because I knew I was going to join up pretty soon and everyone would call me crazy. Of course, they ended up calling me crazy anyway.
So yesterday I went to the Pink Palace for my long and busy pre-op. They checked me for money. They checked my blood. Then they took my blood. And then they took some more. And more. They gave me lists of things to do and other lists of things to not do. They gave me a chest x-ray. I smoked for way too many years about 20 years ago. I hope they don't call me up about the x-ray and say there's really no reason to fix the back since I won't be using it much longer anyway.
The nice lady stuck a long stick up my nose and gathered some snot. I understand they'll be growing it for the next few days to see what comes up. They want to know ahead of time if MRSA grows. What a job to have. "Why, yes. I grow snot."
Then I went to another place and got my corset. It's a very sexy thing. I wanted a red one but they didn't seem to have any. I guess they didn't. The girl didn't respond when I requested it. I assume she's either deaf or they ran out of red right before I got there.
I can only hope that white will turn Ms. Donna on since it does underscore nicely, the total purity and virgin nature of my essence.
I brought home some anti-bacterial body wash that I'll use to get ready for the knifing. I need to wash with it and stick it up my nose. Ms. Donna has said that the hospital is where they keep all the infections. I guess it's a good idea to go with prophylactics.
This next week - party like it's the week before a three month recovery.
January 29th I'll wake up unconscious in an OR. Whoopee.
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1 comment:
Bob...what are ya' havin done?
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