One Moment Please

"One moment please."
"Just a second."
"Can you hold a minute?"

What the heck are you talking about?

Remember the T.V. days (when you actually had to move the dial to change channels)? Remember when they said "Well be back in 60 seconds".
And they were?

They don't say that anymore.
They say "We'll return in a moment". And when they do return in a moment, what to they do? They say "You're watching...so and so". And then they go away for another moment.

What the hell is a moment? Shoot, look it up. Math, physics, history and philosophy all have their own definitions of moment. So I guess I shouldn't gripe when I find out that the tech help on the other end of the world has an infinitesimal idea of what 'moment' means. I mean gee whiz, a moment in India must take a week.

I hate it when somebody tells me "Hold on a second". They're lying. When have you ever held on for a second? When have you ever held on for 10 seconds? Why do people say that? Why don't they tell the truth? "Have patience dude. I'll be back later", is more like it.

Uh, I need to stop typing for a second.
I'll be back in a moment.