Mr B's Pumping Station

I took out my retirement money.

There wasn't that much and I needed to turn it into a real investment so I got hold of it and committed it to a good cause. There's a place on the Internet that's going to help me become the financially stable and independent man that I deserve to be. They didn't really want to deal with someone who had so little money as me but the guy likes me and he says, as a favor, he'll help me get rich just as he's helped so many others who paid him a lot more money than I did.



With that money I get the machine.

They'll deliver it to me as soon as my check clears.



This machine will set me free.



I have to come up with a little money right now, since I gave all that I own for the machine, to get a building and a sign. The sign will say, "Be Younger NOW - At Mr B's Pumping Station".



You see, you don't know this yet because it's a closely guarded secret. But it will soon be on the T.V. and the newspapers and all the Internets out there. This is big news. There has been a new discovery and, because of my shrewd investment, I'll be in the forefront of this new innovation.



I'll be helping older people become young again.



Here's the story. I can tell you now because I've already sent my check for the machine so I'm way ahead of you so it's safe to tell.

See, it works this way. People have seven layers of skin. I'm not making this up. They really do. Just look it up on the Internets. They have seven layers and the only one that gets wrinkles when you get old is the outside layer. The outside layer gets old because that's the one exposed. So if you want to look younger again, all you have to do is show up at Mr B's Pumping Station for a visit or two and we'll completely remove those nasty old wrinkles. We'll just take the needle end of the pumping machine and insert it into your buttocks. Then we'll safely and gently (using our patented newly bought special air pumping, wrinkle dumping procedure) to remove those ugly creases from all over your skin.

How do we remove them?

We fill you up with air.

No, not gassy air or political. Those too have their own place but this is a new kind of air-filling procedure, patented of course and kept very secret from everyone except the lucky guys like me who have sent in all their savings.

We will put a very thin veneer of air molecules between your under and your outer skins, thereby making you crease-free for another fifty or so years. Isn't it wonderful? I should be receiving my kit very soon. I can open the store and hang out my shingle and start pumping the people with happiness.

My retirement is now secure. If I only had more money to send to the company. I could then become just as filthy and rich as they are.

I'm so smart.
What a shrewd investor I am. And you too can be a part of this brand new groundswell of success and happiness. Just send me your lifetime savings. Join with me in the investment to end all investments. Join with me to become the new robber barons of the twenty-first century. Let's get rich quick and make the people happy along the way.

Follow me. I am your light. I am your guidance. I am your life.